Today, as I reflect on who I have become, I can’t help but think about who I thought I would be when I imagined this day as a young child. I day-dreamed of being independent, successful, gorgeous, and a business owner. When I anaylze my current self and compare this image to the person I am today, I have to ask myself, “is this what I expected?” If I’m being real, it feels all wrong…but is it? My life has shaped up in a way that does not exactly mirror my dreams and imagination as a child. There were some traumas that I experienced growing up that made me a little more fearful, timid, self-doubting, and insecure than I ever wanted to be. Bullying throughout grade school (especially middle school), alongside the financial struggles we lived in growing up, contributed to my low self-esteem and my doubt that life could be any different. I often wondered what my life would be like without these tough experiences. What would I be if my peers hadn’t teased my intellect, my clothes, my hair, or my size? What would my life be like if I had a two parent household with resources for basic neccessisties? Would I have been anymore confident, beautiful, or stronger?
The answer to this is “no.” I would be weaker, more dependent, and superficial. The amazing thing is that the though times in my life is what got me to exactly what I had imagined I’d be…it just doesn’t look exactly how I thought it would look. It is because of the teasing, bullying, self-doubt, and poverty, that I am independent, successful, and beautiful from the inside where it truly counts the most. (Oh, and the outside ain’t too bad either #flawless lol). So wait, God formed me into exactly what I had envisioned I’d be, through the very experiences I thought were intended to destroy me. Just when we think adversity comes to knock us off course, we find that it is a divine nudge from God to push us onto the path of purpose and destiny. To all my Kings and Queens out there, be grateful in everything. Find appreciation for life in hard times, trusting that they won’t be here always, but they are a vehicle to your next destination. Crowned majestically!
-A blogger’s heart